I am back from Cologne and had a blast. The three days were jam-packed – first visiting the small trade show EROTIKA where I networked with dealers and producers and was filmed for a German TV programme called “Women talk about sex”. I had a chance to catch up with to PJUR – my favourite lubricant brand. PJUR sponsored “HER PORN” with a lube sachet (“For Women” – a great lube for the sensitive labia skin without any preservatives). I am pleased that they will also sponsor the release of the film “Free Love”, a film by American filmmaker Marianna Beck that I will publish in Europe in a couple of months. For “Free Love” which promotes a happy, open relationship we will add a condom and a lube sample. Hopefully women or couples who would like to experiment will incorporate these goodies in their play. Make your fantasies come true and look after yourself and others!
It was also great to meet Ian Marshall from the UK company ROCKS-OFF again. They launched a few years ago with just the “Rock Chick” toy but now have a much broader range. I picked up two goodies that I can really recommend. For myself I got “The Lick” – a vibrating silicone tongue. It looks like a stylised red flame or a very long and pointed tongue and it vibrates like hell. It’s fantastic as you can use it by itself and for oral stimulation whilst you have penetrative sex (with toys or a guy). It’s small and less obtrusive than a dildo-shaped vibrator and it is small, lightweight and waterproof – so guess what I will be taking on my holiday in Greece soon?!
It was also a pleasure to catch up with two of Germany’s most cutting-edge female magazine editors: Nicole Ruediger from the “Jungsheft” and Anja Braun from “Feigenblatt”. Both magazines are ground-breaking in the way they show sexuality in their photographs and articles. The “Jungsheft” features photos of the hot guy next door with full-on erections and it also features stories on female ejaculation rather than the latest diet fad. Nicole is a true independent, refusing to compromise the content of the magazine in order to get a big publishing deal – even though she has dreams of being a female Hugh Hefner! The “Feigenblatt” is aimed at couples who enjoy reading erotic stories and looking an erotic photography together. The “Feigenblatt” was once censored for featuring a photo with two guys that had a hard-on that was (just) over 45 degrees. This beautiful, grainy black and white photo was considered “pornographic” and as the “Feigenblatt” is available at most news-stands in Germany, the “pornographic” content was illegal and all 10,000 copies were pulled and had to be destroyed. These and other stories will be featured in my upcoming documentary on the female gaze on erotica for which I interviewed those two amazing women Anja and Nicole. I really hope that both magazines will continue to be successful and hopefully break into the European market. Goddess knows the UK could do with a subversive and sexy magazine for women that dares to show guy candy and does not feature page after page of adverts for crap that we don’t need or want…
I nearly spluttered my soya latte when I opened today’s paper – there was a full page ad featuring a hunk with tool belt and the tagline read “I’m free”. This was an ad for Allied Carpets offering free fitting when buying a carpet. We are so used to seeing women and female bodies selling anything from car tyres to power tools that it almost seems normal that free sex is part of the package in most ads.
I have never been comfortable with women being objectified – reduced to their bodies and stripped of their personalities. And it’s certainly not a solution to objectify men but it makes a refreshing change to see male sex objects in the mainstream. It opens our eyes to what it feels like being a woman being confronted daily with images of women that are available at no cost. But it also reflects a cultural change, a subtle shift of women wanting to be the voyeur, enjoying looking at and fantasizing about hunky men. Women being subjects and men objects – for a change.
I also enjoy porn scenes that turn standard role perceptions upside down and reveal how dated they really are. I adore the scene “Not so tender is the night” from “Ecstatic Moments” by Marianna Beck. It features a naked man on stage in a nightclub being cheered on by randy women who want to watch him play with himself and come. All the women in the audience are well known feminists and accomplished fighters of female sexual liberations such as Betty Dobson and Candida Royalle. You will be able to see this previously in Europe unpublished scene on my brand-new compilation HER PORN (out in May).
I have just been watching “Stud Hunters” again, Candida Royalle’s masterpiece on a porn director and her leading lady that set out to find the perfect stud for the new film production. The casting scene s are hilarious featuring a huge variety of male wanna-be porn stars from geek to gorgeous. They are asked to strip for the women and talk about their special talents. The climax of the film is when the female director test drives a chosen few beautiful men all at once. Rather than this becoming the usual mainstream porn gang bang scenario, it is the woman who calls the shots throughout. And all the men are eager to please her and respect and adore her like a queen bee. It is a really empowering film, playing with porn clichés, allowing men to become objects of desire and empowering women to be voyeurs and pleasure seekers. I will definitely show clips of this film in my documentary on porn from a female perspective that I am working on right now. I have just digitised 100 tapes that I shop over the past 12 months and really look forward to create a powerful documentary that sheds light on female fantasies, pleasures and desires. So keep an eye on this space.