It is with great pleasure that I received the invitation to the “Poryes “event in Berlin. This event is organised by the sex positive activist Dr. Laura Meritt and her team and is the first feminist porn award in Europe. The award ceremony and big bash celebrate pioneers in feminist porn. My dear friends Candida Royalle, Maria Beatty and Annie Sprinkle will receive an award as well a myself and Shine Louise Houston from America who I have not yet met.
Of course it is symbolic that the event happens during the Venus show – Europe’s biggest adult trade show – that is still firmly in male hands, catering almost exclusively to men and their desires. It is hard to be taken seriously as an artist or businesswoman in this world that still likes to reduce pretty much every woman to objects. But sometimes even women and feminists do not value our efforts to express female fantasies and portray a more accurate and humane image of (female) sexuality.
Only two years ago the German feminist magazine “Emma” stated: “Porn for women is a myth”. Not so. I myself was very active in the anti-porn movement of the eighties. I still do not like a lot of misogynist porn that I see but the time has come to be heard and seen by creating alternatives rather than leaving the creation of erotic films exclusively in male hands.
As a woman and a feminist it feels good to be celebrated by other feminists who do appreciate the work we are doing to inspire and empower women. To be a feminist does not mean anymore to be against any kind of porn but instead to appreciate the films that genuinely portray female sexuality, that respect the performers’ boundaries and promote safe sex.
“Poryes” says “Yes” to free-range, female-made porn that meets certain criteria. And it feels good to say ‘Yes’ rather than ‘No’ all the time. It gives us a choice and to have a choice is empowering. We can take it or leave it, rather than being excluded.
The other night I went to see “Sister Sledge” play and their anthem is still playing in my head:
“We are family, I got all my sisters with me!”. And this is what it feels like right now: We are connecting and building networks world-wide: The female filmmakers, performers, sex shop owners and the sexual teachers. For a long time America was ahead of us. Now Europe is catching up. Fast. And together we are unstoppable. We are family!
For more info on the “Poryes” event and tickets to the amazing event, look here: http://www.poryes.de
I have just returned from Vienna where I took part in a panel discussion on “Porn for women”. I was not sure how this would go down in Vienna – as it has the reputation of being rather conservative. But the event took off in a sold-out rather posh night club. In fact there was so much last minute demand for tickets that the organiser said: “…next time I rent the town hall!”
Before the panel discussion they beamed one of my trailers onto a massive screen and even though I have seen my films a million times, it still gives me a kick to show them to a new audience who have no idea what to expect. The reactions were positive – lots of surprised but also smiling and happy faces and applause.
The other panellists were Laura Meritt from Sexklusivitaeten in Berlin, the sexy comedienne Barbara Bellini, Dr. Georg Pfau, plus Judit Rabenstein who runs an upmarket sex shop in Vienna called Magnolias and who initiated the event.
I enjoyed that fact that Dr. Pfau confirmed my theory that women like guy candy and to watch men make out. He agreed that for straight women men are the main object of desire and to watch two, three or more of them interact is one of the key fantasies – just like for straight men who like to watch women play with each other… a fact that mainstream porn by and for men has always catered for.
Laura made a point mentioning that watching alternative porn can open the doors beyond our sometimes limited perception of who we are and what we like, to show us new sexual orientation and techniques that we might not normally allow ourselves to see or be.
Ms Bellini questioned me to find out if I show male prostate stimulation and was relieved that I do and now wants to show some clippings of my films during her stand up performances.
Judit explained that the demand for erotic films that a couple can view together or that turn women on is growing all the time.
So we all agreed that we had a lot of catching up to do and are curious of more films showing us erotica from a female perspective. Sadly there was no time for questions by the audience afterwards but I had a good chat with a couple afterwards who said they do not like films without a story and dialogue but hate the bad acting in porn and the fact that in films that feature great acting the sex is always soft. I recommended that they make their one little film – dress up, play roles and be surprised to see their faces in ecstasy on screen – possibly for the first time. It can be empowering to be the architect and object of your own desires captured on film.
I left Vienna on a high – based on the feeling that we have truly arrived. Porn for women is being produced, viewed and discussed all over the world now. The genre is here to stay. And so are women who express themselves and live out their fantasies. Sisters are doing it!
I have always been intrigued by female ejaculation. I saw it happening live for the first time during last year’s pornfilmfest during the performances and the workshop of the incredible Wendy Delorme.
Like so many women I always assumed that not every woman can ejaculate – maybe only one in ten.
I could not have been more wrong.
A few days back I received an email from Deborah Sundahl whose life’s work is to teach and empower women all over the world to ejaculate. Deborah wanted to meet me during her next trip to Europe to see if we can work together. She sent me some of her superb videos and to my amazement the first video I watched (Female Ejaculation – the workshop) Deborah makes clear that EVERY WOMAN – if her g-spot is stimulated in the right way with the right stimulation – will release ejaculate fluid. So the fact is: EVERY WOMAN CAN EJACULATE BECAUSE EVERY WOMAN HAS A G-SPOT!
The g-spot is the female prostate and the female ejaculate is prostatic fluid with a completely different consistency than urine. We are wrongly made to believe that “female ejaculation is a myth” and “female ejaculate is urine”.
I will publish some of Deborah’s footage on my next compilation and an interview with her so that more women can find out how to have a completely different and incredibly intense kind of orgasm.
I feel privileged and blessed that Deborah will visit me and run a very private workshop just for my girlfriend and me – I can’t wait and will tell you all about how it went so watch this space!
For more info on Deborah and female ejaculation, look here: www.isismedia.org
I am happy that more and more amazing films are arriving that show fresh new insights as to what women find erotic . I am glad that I am able to inspire women to express themselves. It is a huge step for women not just to say: “Yes, I am watching porn!” but to go one step further and to actually make their own film, share it with the public and talk about it.
But it has not all been sweet scented roses – my short film competition seems to have stepped on some sensitive toes. One company threatened to sue me for the use of the name “Joy Awards” and as I do not have the financial means to battle this out in court, I had to rename the “Joy Award” to the “Petra Joy Award”. I am not too happy about this as I do not want this to be all about me, Petra Joy but about the JOY of female self expression. But after the initial bill of my solicitor cost me a small fortune, I had to count my losses and move on – even though my solicitor assured me that I could win this case if I was prepared to invest considerably more money and time. One month from the event I was not prepared to do anything that could endanger the event. So the “Petra Joy Award” it is.
More problems came from an unexpected quarter:
I was criticised by some women who are actually fighting for the same causes as I do for timing my event badly and stealing the publicity from their event. I was shocked by that accusation especially as I had suggested to the very same women to join forces and create a shared event. My offer was rejected. I think, the more the merrier: The more of us say and do things, the more likely it is that we will be heard and seen. The more likely it is that people understand we are not a one-off phenomenon but we are here to stay. Women want porn from a female perspective and this desire is here to stay.
Sometimes it can be frustrating when I feel attacked from various sides and I wonder why I do what I do – a non profit making event to mentor new female filmmakers. But then I get an email like this and it makes it all worthwhile. Sarah who just finished a film (her first ever) for the competition wrote to me:
“Whatever the outcome of this effort I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed it! Having only been filmed for the first time in June of this year it was all a little daunting but I do like a challenge! We have over an hour of out-takes and had to do it all over two sessions. I had no idea of the work that goes into these things and also exactly how un-glamorous it can be…and we are just amateurs! Should the opportunity ever arise, I would love to come and see how a professional production is created!”
I cannot wait to view all the films and award the winners with their trophies and of course the cash prizes sponsored by pjur. The best film will also be seen on “Her Porn, volume two” and short clips will be available on the website: www.joyawards.com
It has been a while since I have been on here sharing my experiences. I was just so busy I could just not think even think straight. Since I was mentioned in the German ‘Marie Claire’ the media interest has been incredible. And many days were spent consulting TV producers and giving print interviews… But I had a mini-break last weekend staying at a holistic spa and now I am back – ready to share some thoughts with you.
After 4 months of work my documentary, “The Joy Of Porn” is finally ready. I managed to condense 150 hours of footage shot during the last three years into one hour of my personal journey as a feminist pornographer.
It was a strange experience to edit a film about me, my allies and my mission. Normally I am strictly behind the camera and that goes for my work in television as much as for my work as an erotic filmmaker. But somehow I felt that this story of female empowerment and friendships that have managed to change the adult industry and public perception of porn is worth telling.
Most of the footage is fly-on-the-wall filmed by my partner and friends – whoever had two free hands was handed the camera to shoot what was happening and on some adventures Violetta (who is starring in my films) and I filmed each other as we could not afford yet to have someone travel with us for the purpose of filming.
But this way we got very intimate footage that a TV crew could have not achieved in the same way.
On Thursday evening I will throw a party for all the lovely people that have worked with me over the years. It is the fifth birthday of “Strawberry Seductress” my production company and we will celebrate with champagne, canapés and the private preview of “The Joy Of Porn”.
I am incredibly nervous about this – much more so than if I had shot another erotic film as this film is very personal and so close to my heart.
But it will be a pleasure to get everyone together for a big bash as it’s been a while since we all partied together. The official world premiere will be on the 14.10.2009 at the Berlin Pornfilmfest at 23:00 at the Movimento Cinema in Berlin. More info here: www.pornfilmfestivalberlin.de
I am not yet sure where this film will be available but there will be a trailer up on the news page shortly.