“Before I turn 67 – next March – I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like. If you want to talk first, Trollope works for me.”
This ad was published in a literature journal by language teacher Jane Juska – a woman in her late sixties who reclaimed her body and rediscovered her sexuality without taboos and then wrote a book about her adventures.
What a joy it was when I recently discovered her book “A Round-Heeled Woman”. It was refreshing, exciting and inspiring to read about her sexual adventures – some of them with men in their eighties some with men in their thirties. Sexual chemistry knows no age – sparks can fly any time when a young mind in an old body is attracted to an old mind in a young body or vice versa.
Jane is a woman who, based on common perception, is ‘past it’ and is not supposed to have a sex life any longer. MILFS are cool and sexy, grandmothers allegedly ‘disgusting’. There are so many taboos in sex and porn – age is just one of them. Porn likes to turn silver sex into a grotesque spectacle: People, especially women over 50 having sex are being portrayed as unattractive ‘freaks’ in countless low budget gonzo films. Attractive young women and men are being ‘punished’ by having to fuck someone with wrinkles and grey hair. People reduced to their bodies and in the case of old bodies to worthless meat – past the ‘sell by date’.
What a shame. This is why I was really excited when I heard about “Cloud Nine” a German/French art-house film featuring explicit silver sex. The film features a strong heroine who is bored in her dull marriage and starts having a passionate affair with another man. I applaud the director for his guts to show real sex between older people. But I was dissapointed because the sex they had was very limited (hardly any oral, no toys or lube but mainly missionairy quickies when many woman over sixty have told me about the kegel exercisers, toy selection and huge repertoire of pleasurable sex techniques). What upset me most about the film is that it all ends in tears: The heroine leaves her husband to be with her lover. The husband then promply kills himself and the woman is then trapped in her grief and gut-wrenching guilt. Why is it that in so many art-house movies that feature explicit sex, there is drama, depression and death – as if the protagonists have to pay for daring to make their sexual fantasies come true? This is why Jane Juska’s book is so inspiring and uplifting – even though some of her lovers have the power to upset her, the book ends on a high when she heads off to meet her 30 year old lover in a log cabin and both look really forward to a romantic and kinky reunion – against all odds.
I like a challenge and maybe one day – perhaps when I am in my sixties – I will shoot a really exciting and erotic silver porn.