Chop her down – do the latest male masturbators do just that?!

Oh, the joys of working in the adult industry. Every month I receive a new edition of some of the adult trade magazines. Usually most items featured in these mags amuse or mildly annoy me. But sometimes they feature some stuff that really disturbs me.

On the front cover of the current issue of the “Sign” magazine are various “Realistic ‘fuck me silly’ Masturbators” which are basically dismembered female body parts with holes in them made of silicone.

I have no problems with genital toys such as cocks or pussies. Full size sex androids also exist in male and female form and I think: OK, each to their own. But some of the female body parts-cum-masturbators I find slightly unsettling. If not the product alone, it is usually the ad blurb that gives the misogynist attitude of the toy producers away.

Take the “Fuck me silly 3” which is an ass and pussy with extra long legs and feet.

On the producer’s website it says:

“You’ve always dreamt of fucking a long-legged beauty like this, so what are you waiting for? Take your fuck slut out of the box, push play on the hardcore DVD, get out the free lube, and pound that bitch ’til you Fuck Her Silly! This mega masturbator is the most realistic and lifelike lower half of a woman ever developed! You’ll swear it’s just like fucking the real thing – only better! She’s warm, tight, super-soft, and always ready for action! With over 20 lbs of super-soft Fanta-flesh engulfing and massaging your cock, this is the only woman you’ll ever need. When you’re done, blow a load deep inside her ass or pussy”

Another masturbator is a voluptuous bum with anus and vagina. The blurb reads:

“Slap that big round ass and listen to the whack – it sounds and feels just like a real ass! Spread her cheeks, ram her tight little asshole, and fill her with every inch of your man meat! Now, flip the slut over on her back and her perfect pink pussy lips are spread eagle and begging for your dick! She’s warm, she’s tight, and she NEVER says no! No commitments, no bullshit, and no worries about knocking her up.”

Apart from tailor-made torsos for any guys fetish – be it bum, breasts or legs and feet, the producer, pipedream has also created some Frankenstein like masturbators:

There is a pair of breasts with a pussy in between them or a tongue right next to the vagina. I find them comical but also kind of alienating. It gives me nightmares of bizarre sexual plastic surgery procedures to come… just like in the “Human Centipede” movies ( where humans are stitched together mouth-to-anus for the sexual pleasure of a demented surgeon. The theme of this horror porn seems to be: make them swallow someone else’s shit – that will shut them up!

A lot of men seem really pissed off with women saying “No” to being “rammed, slapped, and begging for dicks” (how dare we?) which might be the reason that most of the masturbators are currently sold out. I guess we are being heard when the fact that women know what they want has entered the mind of the male masturbator salesmen.

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