Gender Bending

Buck Angel

I overheard someone the other day speaking about Buck Angel – the man with a pussy – calling him “sick and twisted”. She said angrily: “She claims to be a man but it is bullshit. She has a pussy so she is a woman pumped full of hormones. It’s disgusting, really”

I am always surprised by the strong reactions anybody provokes who dares to question gender stereotypes and indulges in some form of “gender bending”.

My strap-on scene in “Female Fantasies” caused a big stir and was censored by one of my biggest distributors. And that was just a woman wearing a plastic cock for a bit of role play. But to see some hunky men sucking a (plastic) cock worn by a gorgeous feminine woman was more than the allegedly-liberal adult industry could handle. In straight porn, women are supposed to be ultra-feminine and men are dominant super studs – there is no room for any play with gender roles.

We hold on to our perception of what it means to be male and female as if we don’t have a choice to reinvent ourselves every single day – no matter if we were born as a woman or a man. What makes a man a man? It is not just his cock. We are more than our reproductive organs and gender is a state of mind.

If Buck Angel feels like a man, let him be a man. He has got the muscle, attitude and way of life. Good for him that he did not choose to have his vagina transformed into a fake penis just to conform to what we expect a man to be. Why would he swap a giant clit that gives him multiple orgasms for a fake penis that can neither become fully erect, nor ejaculate and that would give him far less pleasure than his pussy?

Another gender-bending hate figure is Thomas Beattie who decided to utilise his womb in order to give birth to his children. Thomas is similar to Buck a “FTM” (female to male transsexual). He had his breasts removed and has had hormone therapy but never wanted to have a hysterectomy and labiaplasty. He wanted to have the choice to have children with his wife who was not able to have children naturally anymore.

He chose to physically mother and psychologically father his children. The world has been up in arms since the story of the “pregnant man” broke and YouTube is inundated with hate messages from “real men” ridiculing and abusing Thomas. Not only did he have the audacity to preserve his pussy but he kept his reproductive organs as well, and the public demands him to make a final choice: Be a man and get a cock, or stop taking hormones and live your life as a woman who is not just allowed to be expected to become a mother. Thomas pushed the envelope even further than Buck.

Buck embraced being a man by living out his very active, ‘male’ sex life in full view of the public. Thomas is allowing himself to take the gender bending even further by utilising his womb rather than paying a surrogate mum to mother his and his wife’s baby. He is a man yet he chooses to become a biological mother and focus on his family. And that is something those ‘real men’ cannot accept or respect. They want him to be in a nightclub, get pissed, watch strippers and crack jokes about gay men. But the times are changing and more and more people stand up to be whoever they want to be – call it male or female, transsexual or third gender or simply a free, individual and unique spirit.

In the animal realms gender is much more fluid. At any stage in their life fish can swap gender and they often do. My boyfriend had three swordtail fish in his aquarium: two female and a male. When the male died, one of the females did her very own gender reassignments by growing a swordtail within a week. I therefore christened him “Buck”. And it’s the male seahorses that give birth.

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