Sexism works both ways and that both genders lose if we remain stuck in rigid roles with no room to play, grow and develop. I had an email from a young guy that really touched me and brought home how much some men hate the fact that they do not feel physically desired by women. The assumption still prevails that a naked men or a penis is supposed to be “ugly” and undesirable -unless you are gay. The guy who wrote to me craves to be an object of female desire. He wrote:
“I am a 18 year old male from Italy . I have a big question: are women visual or not ? And can they be sexually stimulated by a good formed male body? It makes me very sad when I read that men are visual but women are emotional, men watch porn but women don’t. I also feel very sad when I see women wear sexy clothes but men don’t do it themselves. Do women really only enjoy stroking and romantic, emotional things and the male body shape does not turn them on? It is a very bad feeling for me that my girlfriend does not care about my body, even if I am totally nude in front of her. I love and am attracted to every cell in her body, from her head to her toes plus I adore her soul. It is a really bad feeling that as men we are considered the less attractive and ‘lower’ creatures. I hope not every woman thinks like this. I didn’t find anyone to ask except you and I know that you will be honest with me…”
I think it is about time for women to be allowed to occasionally look at men as “guy candy”. Women can enjoy being the voyeurs and men can get a taste of what it is like to feel desired. Voyeurism does not have to be exploitative or degrading towards the objects of desire. This is why in my films “Female Fantasies” and “Feeling it!” I feature a solo male masturbation scene. It is fascinating to see how each guy is unique and touches himself in his own special way. I like watching men in action and from the feedback I get from my female audience many women enjoy this rare pleasure as well. Especially the straight women are bored always being presented lots of female masturbation. They want to see guys because that is what turns them on. I think that a lot of men would enjoy being able to be in the role of the ‘object’ at least sometimes rather than being the predator all the time and not feeling desired or appreciated. So I told the young man that yes, women DO desire men physically. But until now there has not been much for us to look at (except gay porn). Most women like male bodies. My personal favourites (apart from the obvious) are: the lips, the chest, the hands and the bum. I love it when my boyfriend wiggles his ass for me when he walks up the stairs in front of me. And it annoys me that if anyone spotted us this would be considered as ‘weird’. If any of you guys out there are wondering whether you should, I’d say: go on, knock yourself out and do a strip for her or let her watch you whilst you are working out, have a shower or play with yourself. If we are able to switch roles sometimes then we will become more liberated and flexible. The shame is over and that goes for women and men.