Last night I went to the “Night Of The Senses” – an amazing annual event where the “Erotic Oscars” are handed out to creative talent working in the erotic industry. The event raises money for “Outsiders”, a charity promoting relationships and sex for handicapped people. It is refreshing to experience a sex scene that does not involve body fascists but welcomes able bodied people just as much as disabled players. It has always annoyed me that at some swinger parties and fetish events the door policy is strict and only the young and beautiful are allowed in and made welcome. We are all sexual and sensual creatures and attractiveness to me has nothing to do with a perfect body but a with a sensual mind and the ability to give and receive pleasure.
Because I admire Tuppy Owens and her relentless fight for sexual equality and freedom for women and men of any colour, body shape or fetish so much, it was a huge honour to be awarded three years ago with the erotic award for my photography.
This time I came back to network and be inspired. My new casting flyers are ready so I had a stash in my bag to stick onto walls and mirrors.
The event is like nothing else. Whereas many sexual scenes are fiercely protective of who attends and is considered “normal” – at the night of the senses pretty much anything goes. The only rule is respect. You don’t touch someone without being invited and a “No” is a “No”. Apart from that the night celebrates sexual diversity. There are loads of different play rooms where people can live out their sexual fantasies. From adult babies to swingers, strippers and slaves… it is here where you can meet people of a huge variety of sexual orientations. The stereotypes of “straight and gay”, “fetish and vanilla” blur and melt and the huge variety creates many spicy flavours that you can sample by watching or actively getting involved into the play.
The “anything goes den” is surrounded by black sheets and has slits for voyeurs cut into its floating walls. I love to catch glimpse of other people’s ecstasy. Depending on which slit I choose to peep through, I get up close and personal to another persons fantasy. As this is a free peep show what happens in the space is not a performance but looks and feels more like a Roman orgy. I watch a naked guy in Victorian black cloak and top head fuck a blonde woman doggy style. She only wears a collar and a lead and moans when he pulls her towards him. Two biker couples that are enjoying the variety of a foursome and as they spot my curious eyes on the other side of the sheet, they invite me and another person to join in. I like the way the tables were turned and the voyeurs became the watched ones. I decide to stay behind the sheet and watch more action through another window, the kick being not to have to do anything but just being inspired by the sensual scenarios that are unfolding before my eyes.
A woman is riding a bloke who sits on the sofa. She arches her back and moans and by the way her buttocks spasm I can tell that she is coming really hard. He looks at her in awe… that look guys give a woman every time they realise that women are truly multi-orgasmic creatures. A woman in a white PVC nurse outfit lies back and rest her booted legs on her lovers shoulders. He is broad-shouldered and slowly slides a condom on before he penetrates her slow and deep. His bum is chiselled and I think that male bums and backs are highly underestimated in erotica. I also think that here is quiet a bit to be said for missionary: the eye contact and her being completely relaxed and at ease, letting him please her. He obviously knows how to please her as he hands her a small vibrating bullet for her to stimulate her clit whilst he is fucking her. I do like a man that enjoys giving pleasure.
The room is like a sensual garden of Eden with people tasting each other like ripe and ready fruits. I enjoy the food for thought. Much of what I was blessed to witness would not be shown in a mainstream porn film and might not have been generated by my naughty mind either (I never thought of using a cloak as a prop for a naked man, but its hot).
Another room, another world. I hear a woman’s loud moans. They draw me in. Her moans are not high but she groans with pleasure almost like an animal. When I step into the room I see men, lots of men surrounding a kind of metal bed. All I see of the woman is her raised hips and pussy. She is being fingered slowly and deeply by just one guy and watched by all the others. The guy’s eyes meet mine. He appreciates and enjoys being watched. This is so different from the group wank scenario of a “Bukake” party. The guys are not her to degrade the woman. The guys watch a woman being pleasured. And they know they are lucky to witness this intimate moment – a glimpse into the world infinite female sexual power. A woman receiving total pleasure without shame. She is not serving but being served. Pleasured by one man and adored by the others. To me it felt like a temple to worship to female lust. Deep wet and roaring. And a shiver goes down my spine.
I love to step into such unknown worlds. It is like every room unravels and reveals even deeper and darker fantasies – many of them censored in “real life”. The ball is a rare event where people can let go enjoy without being judged. I love looking through the kaleidoscope of pleasures, watching, witnessing and verifying that yes, we are free to live out what we desire if only we dare to be ourselves.