No shame or guilt: Why Cora Emens decided to have sex in a feminist porn film at the age of 57

Cora Emens is a well known Dutch sex educator who was 57 years old when she decided to live out her sexuality without fear, guilt or shame in front of Petra’s camera. Petra and Cora created together the sensual scene “And the winner is…” for Petra’s feature “(S)he Comes“, which is being screened this week as the opening film at the “Holy Fuck“ film festival in the cinema Film Huis Cavia in Amsterdam. Here is an interview with Cora about the prejudices that surround older women’s sexuality, porn clichés and why she decided to have sex on camera in a feminist porn film directed by Petra.

Why did you decide to shoot a porn film with Petra?

I studied health science and noticed that society still has so many issues with sexuality. So I decided to learn more about sex and started teaching what I had learned. I became Holland’s first and best-known sex coach. Being considered an older woman now, my next step was to show that older women still can be sexual and still can enjoy sex. When Petra asked me to star in her movie “(S)he Comes“, I did not have to think twice. We both knew that we could trust each other completely to make this movie a little gem. We both felt the time was ripe to do this film. Women feel so much pressure from the mainstream media and porn that they have to look forever young to be considered attractive and sexy. They fall into the trap of plastic surgery; fake breasts and a face full of Botox and fillers. Petra and I wanted to show that you can be attractive and feel sexy no matter what your age. What counts is your energy and your mindset.

In Porn normally you see young women, so why do you think it is important, to shoot sexually explicit films with women over 50?

Actually “Milf“ (a.k.a. Mothers I’d Like to Fuck) porn is also very popular these days and also “granny“ porn is on the rise. So it is not all about young women anymore. What is different in the movie I shot with Petra is the kind of sex it shows. I am not just an object nor a clichéd “cougar”. I am a mature woman who enjoys real, sensual and passionate sex and loved doing just that in front of Petra’s camera. Sex can be so much more than in and out and up and down. I hope our film featuring authentic and hot sex can be an inspiration for other [older] women as a female porn audience always notices when the orgasms are fake and loose interest. The last thing they want to see is women being degraded to objects, young or old. And this film is different because it features very intimate and sensual sex, me being pleasured by a hot guy (Surj) and experiencing multiple, intense orgasms.

What was your motivation for making this film? Do you have a message for other women?

I want to be an inspiration for other women and couples. We all get older and I am convinced it has many benefits to enjoy an active sex life as long as possible. It is possible to still surrender to sensuality, lust and the physical expression of love even though the body gets older. If you know what you want and follow your gut feeling and express your desires freely, then can get what you want – no matter how old you are!

Why do you like sex with younger guys?

I like sex, period. I also enjoy sex with my life partner who is my age. It is the the chemistry and passion that counts. Of course a young man brings a lot of stamina and enthusiasm. And it is good to feel young. You feel as young as the person you are having sex with. Sex is all about the exchange of energy and body fluids. So a good dose of young energy, keeps me young. Independent of the age of a lover – I am only interested in men who are skilled lovers and know or want to learn how to satisfy a woman.

Why did you wear the ring of your grandmother while shooting the film?

The generations of women before me in my family, my mother and grandmother did not enjoy sex. I know this because my mother told me when she was already in her eighties that other women seemed to have had a lot more fun during sex and she regretted that she had not. I felt sorry for her, that it had been impossible for her to get what she desired. Like so many women she did not even know what she liked herself. She just let sex happen to her, rather than fully engaging in it and it was usually over quickly, leaving her completely unsatisfied. I suspect it was the same for my grandmother. The ring is a tribute to these women, to somehow heal their unfulfilled sexual desires. By me living out my sexuality freely and without shame in front of Petra’s camera and for the whole world to see, I feel as if I liberated my mother and grandmother as well as myself.

You are a Sex-Coach, what do you recommend women to sex up their life?

First and foremost be true to yourself. So many women lose interest because they do not get the kind of sex they are craving. Most women still do not get enough foreplay because they are hurried into penetration by their lovers. Get to know yourself, communicate, masturbate and keep your sex muscles trained. Of course the most important sex organ is your mind. Let your fantasy roam free or get inspired by erotica and take the time to get really aroused. Sharing your fantasies with your partner is an exciting thing to do.

How do you imagine your sex life in the future?

I will keep on having sex until I die. Sex keeps me in contact with my life force and my divinity. And it keeps me flexible and creative. I have learned not to make too many plans or to live too far ahead in the future. I will keep on doing what I feel inspired to do in the moment. From singing to sex-coaching and who knows maybe even shooting another erotic movie. I sure did enjoy being a star in this one!

More Information:

More about Cora’s sex coaching: http://seks-coach.nl/
The “Holy Fuck Film Festival“: http://filmhuiscavia.nl/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=701&Itemid=125

If you want to see Cora’s scene it is available online here.

Watch the (S)he Comes trailer:


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