It is a golden late autumn day and I am basking in the afterglow of an amazing shoot.
We filmed last weekend for four days and it went really well! My focus was on a multinational cast, genuine big female orgasms and to promote safe sex in an erotic way. And against all odds such as delayed planes, ill health and lost props – we did it!
The filming is all finished and now I have to view 30 hours of material that with the help of my skilled editor Seren Black and some magic will become my third erotic film. After the shoot I have a feeling that this new film will be truly inspirational to many people and liberate people’s minds to a sensual play based on mutual respect and a shared sense of exploration. There was such a sense of freedom on the set – there was no room for censoring thoughts that so many of us still have occasionally in our mind when we make love.
The lead up to the shoot was stressful. This is the biggest production I have ever done: seven performers and five crew. Accommodation, locations, equipment, props had to be found, booked and bought and a film crew, runner and driver had to be organised. On the day before the shoot stated, after the third night without sleep and 5 hours of shopping for food and drinks for as all, my head was spinning. Because my brain was full with a million things, my short term memory went of the window. I managed to lock myself out of my flat and had to call a locksmith to get back in. By the time I got into my home to pack all the outfits and props for the big shoot, I was a nervous wreck.
I had planned the shoot so that we all could have dinner on Friday night, the evening before the shoot but as back luck had it there were train delays and the poor girls that flew in from Berlin arrived with a six hour delay at 2 am. It was such a shame that we did not have a relaxed evening of valuable down time before we all took off the next day.
But somehow the whole team still gelled by the time we stated shooting on Saturday afternoon. It was a huge experiment to have 8 people living and playing together under one roof with the cameras rolling. Everybody did extremely well and that has been so far the most blissful experience of this new production: the feeling of family, the spirit of us all wanting to be there, not for the money (what money?) but the love of it. Doing something about which we all feel it is new, different, refreshing a creative and emotional challenge. Mia, one of the performers told me that she thinks I am doing a mini revolution in the porn industry and she wanted to be part of it. What a lovely and encouraging compliment. We all shared the revolutionary spirit – every single person involved rose to the challenge and worked their buts off whilst enjoying themselves big time. I was the queen bee, responsible for even the tiniest decision but supported by a great team that voiced many ideas and most importantly allowed themselves to let go and experience ecstasy without shame or fear or guilt. It was a pleasure to capture three huge female orgasms on camera.
I have been thinking for a while now about a title for the new film and I think it will be “Feeling it!” because the performers did allow themselves to let go and genuinely feel it and there was no faking it involved true to my motto; “Feeling it, not faking it!”
I am grateful for such a great shoot even though I am slightly worried about my finances. The various necessary bills for the weekend alone came to three and a half thousand and of course that is money I handed out. I have had no money coming in for a while now as I am focusing on this film and as it is my project for now it is me paying rather than being paid. I just have to hold my breath a little bit longer to pay for the edit, music rights, licensing and duplication and then eventually hopefully people will buy the film and I will be able to balance the red with some black figures.
I want to take this opportunity to thank again the people who supported me: the amazing performers (you will see and hear more from them), the technical team and the companies who generously donated special toys for us to play with: N-joy, P-vibe and Fun Factory. And of course a big thank you to my partner for supporting me even when I am stressed and a right bitch and for putting up with the fact that we never ever have weekends off but always seem to work. There is a saying that behind every strong man is a strong woman. How lucky am I to have a strong man behind me?!