I had it all planned out: A ‘women only’ event. Women getting together to talk about ‘porn for women’. I wanted two male butlers in the buff serving strawberries and champagne. The butlers being the “eye candy” for the girls – showing off their biceps, pecs and bums, serving the women in a polite manner. Women first. Women on top.
Little did I know that the bar where I was to run my event was a bar where men normally have a post-wank beer after they have enjoyed some solo play time in the sex cinema. A venue that clearly caters for men and their desires with larger than life photographs of female porn stars on the walls and no indication of male sex objects on display whatsoever. It took all afternoon to transform the venue and make it more attractive and comfortable for women. We covered the slot machines and swapped the beer pads with rose petals and feathers. Eventually the butler arrived (my hosts supplied me with one rather than two eye candies). Whilst I was briefing him on how to treat the ladies and kitted him out with a short black waiter’s apron, cuffs and a bowtie I was in for a nasty surprise.
The butlers in the buff are about showing off the best features of a well toned guy in a cheeky yet non-offensive way. They go down a storm at many events all over the UK and I had one in my orgy scene in “Feeling it!” I had sent the organiser the pictures displaying the best features if the butler – covered at the front with a black apron put displaying his naked, sexy peach bum at the back. However to my surprise the hosts of the vents did not share my enthusiasm. They demanded that the sexy butler would wear a cheap and cheerful pair of boxer shorts to cover up his best bits, as they considered his bum to be “rude, dirty and offensive”. I was gobsmacked. In this very venue female porn stars regularly display themselves more or less in full frontal nudity and only 15 meters away hardcore porn was playing in the sex cinema to entertain the male crowds suddenly a double standard was applied: naked women being considered as “normal and sexy”, semi nude men being considered as “dirty and vulgar”.
I tried my best to stand my ground and give the girls the eye candy that they deserve but even though the event was based entirely on my concept, I was told by the organisers that in their venue they called all the shots and so the butler ended up looking mediocre in a rather unsexy pair of baggy boxer pants.
This is not the first time I encountered this double standard – two years back a big distributor cut my male bisexual scene that they considered “dirty”. This very scene won this year “best bi scene” at the feminist porn award at Toronto. And many women including me really enjoy watching men make out – just like most straight guys enjoy girl-girl action.
The other day I met a TV producer in Cologne and told him about the growing trend in Germany of young women editing alternative erotic magazines featuring nude men. The ‘Jungsheft’ is an art-core publication from Cologne and has become a cult publication cult all over Germany. It is edited by two women and features photographs of ordinary nude men, some with erections. The comment of the male TV producer says it all. Without batting an eyelid he said: “It is obvious that this magazine is read mainly by gay men”. I was speechless.
I can’t believe that this prejudice still prevails. Let me spell it out loud and clear: women are voyeurs too. And straight or bisexual women enjoy looking at nude hunky men as much as men have been enjoying seeing topless girls in their daily paper for decades now.
What does it take until female fantasies and desires will be taking seriously? How much longer until an erotic photo of a well toned guy is just seen as that – a photo of an attractive man to be enjoyed by whoever- rather than being labelled “gay”?
Sometimes I feel we still have a very long way to go…