The Money Shot

I am so angry, I could cry. I just called my bank to arrange an e-commerce account, so I can accept credit cards on the internet.

I really would like to be able to offer interested people the chance to download my films on my website. A lot of people, especially women do not want to go into a license sex shop to buy an erotic film if it means that they are greeted with wall to wall cum shots which are still on display en masse in the average sex shop. And it is illegal in he UK to sell any hard-core porn online and send them out by post. But strangely it is legal to sell hard-core downloads on the internet. So if I could find a way to accept credit card payments online, I could sell “Sexual Sushi” and “Female Fantasies” downloads.

But guess what? My bank asked me what I would be selling and when I said “erotic film downloads” they ask if it was PORN (oh, that wicked word that closes a thousand doors and opens the ones I do not want to walk through). So I had to admit that I sell kind of porn, a licensed and legal product that is worlds apart from gang-bang porn and the like. The lady on the phone suddenly sounded miffed. She said that my type of business does not comply with “their company’s criteria”. I ask what their criteria was and why I was ostracized for a perfectly legal product and transaction but all she would say again and again was “Your type of business does not comply with our criteria”. What criteria?

I felt so angry, I put the phone down. My money has not got blood and usually not even sperm on it.

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